find it difficult to like people for themselves, and
are apt to view them from an objective distance. Emotionally you remain distant
to most; relationships are difficult for you to navigate. It is hard to win
your trust, and once broken, forgiveness is even harder, isn't it. You run
through the feelings, and the person is dead to you thereafter.
To the very few in your inner circle, you are emotionally expansive, however.
IRL, you could appear larger than life, and tend to overwhelm others with the force of your personality. People are guarded around you as they do not know what to make of you? And you prefer it that way.
You use sarcasm as a defense and are impatient with those you deem fools; you also use inscrutability to throw off others - doublespeak and wordplay is your game. However, you employ charm when it fits you.
Sexually you're an imaginative lover and you can take it rough.
A certain laissez-faire approach towards rules and norms, while you are intelligent enough to comprehend them, the truth is you do not really care and have a tendency to do what is expedient for you, vs. follow established rules.
Your sense of validation is internal, but you lack a purpose: while you set your personal standards very high, there is a lack of direction/clear goals, so your energy is dissipated by little things.
Prefer to live without much structure, your planning leaves something to be desired. Those who operate on efficient schedules probably find you a nightmare to work with.
A childlike enthusiasm when happy, at that stage, that is when you are at your most open, imaginative and natural. Some of the hyper self-awareness ceases then. When opposed, you are apt to react like a child; convinced you are right, be out to wound others and to stamp your logic on others.
A lack of finishing ability, though not for want of intelligence. Endings cause you stress, coupled with hastiness and a rash streak, it means you start projects but you lose interest as quickly, hence rarely see things to completion.
It is hard for you to commit.
There's a certain meta-consciousness in that you're aware of the roles and what is required, and are watching yourself even as you play the role. A certain cynicism, for want of a better word: - in your head, you see the big picture yet in truth, most things don't matter to you. I cannot figure out why though.